Now that he’s on our team, how should we claim him?

Is Steven Slater good for the gays or bad for the gays?

Go Steven!

If anyone learns anything from this overblown news story it’s this: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT fuck with a tired service industry gay. This includes, but is not limited to, waiters, bartenders, customer service representatives, cashiers and reporters.

(Well, my co-worker insisted I add the last one, and on some days, I’ll agree. But she doesn’t have an inflatable slide.)

If you didn’t already know, stressed gay men will pop off at the mouth in a moment’s notice. It’s a defense mechanism we learned when the cool kids picked on us by the swing sets on every major playground across the globe. It’s a skill — part art, part science — that we’ve been working on for years. If successful, you won’t know whether to laugh or cry when we’re done.

I applaud Slater for bringing this to light and doing so on the PA system was a nice touch.

This aside, let’s not forget his dramatic escape.

If a gay is going to leave in a puff of air-slide dust, believe it will be with glitter and grins.

“Those of you who have shown dignity and respect these last 20 years, thanks for a great ride,” he reportedly said over the intercom.

Besides, you’ve gotta love a crazy gay who’s getting all kinds of love from fellow flight attendants and disgruntled workers who, even in this time of recession, aren’t paid enough to put up with the public’s desire to take their frustrations out on service workers.

Slater Haters!

Whatever happened to civility? Though I should probably be asking the rude woman who verbally assaulted Slater the same question, after 20 years in the biz, you’d think Slater would have learned a little more patience.

The job market Slater found at the bottom of that slide is a lot tougher than when he first hit the air (according to his MySpace page, this is most certainly not his first day at the rodeo). And of course he can forget working any kind of airline or customer service job… also the only work experience he’s listed online.

Then there’s the jail time. It’s been reported that the combination felony/misdemeanor he’s carrying could come with seven years in jail and his over-the-top, life-endangering behavior is deserving of some of it.

Slater didn’t go to work on Aug. 9 expecting to become a gay stewardess icon, but here we are, on Aug. 10, seeing his mug all over the news. I can see Diane Sawyer’s furloughed brow: “Is this a case of ‘Gay Rage?'” After all, news shows love to brand outlandish behavior and the fact that this one has a gay angle doesn’t bode well for our well-meaning sisters still in the sky.

Besides, who still has a MySpace page anyway? Embarrassing!

 

Top photo: Steven Slater (via MySpace)

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