Outspoken

December 9, 2011 0

Bryan posted a message on his Facebook wall last week, with a question: “What would you do if doc says you may only have a few days left?”

The inquiry was not theoretical, or meant to inspire discussions of ideology. It was a scheduling question. That morning, he was informed by medical professionals that he should prepare for the ending of what any of us would call a life. Just because your vitals can still be measured as functioning does not mean you are living. I don’t know what you’d call that. Existing, I guess. But frankly, even that’s debatable.

Bryan and I are the same age: 32. The idea that he should even be considering what his final acts will be is monumentally unfair. But cancer isn’t terribly concerned with fairness. We met because of the disease. I meet a lot of people that way, kind of like how guys who’ve dated the same horrible ex have something to chat about.

Outspoken: John Waters, Shangela and more…

November 25, 2011 0

“I consider myself a lower-case gay, not screaming like my good friend [porn director and drag queen] Chi Chi LaRue. I love all my friends in the community, and if the moment came [for induction into the Hall Of Fame], it would be a tremendous moment, not just for the band and our fans, but for the whole LGBT community.”

— Rob Halford, vocalist of heavy metal band Judas Priest, when asked whether his being gay may be why the band hasn’t been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. (Xtra!, Nov. 21)

“I’m for gay marriage. I don’t want to do it, but I certainly think people should be allowed to, and I wouldn’t vote for anybody that would be against it. But at the same time, why do we have to be good now? Why can’t we be villains in movies?”

— Gay cult film director John Waters (“Hairspray, “Cry-Baby”) on the mainstreaming of gay culture (Slate.com, Nov. 20)

Melissa Carter: Symbols to help you navigate the holiday season

November 24, 2011 0

Stress. Thanksgiving weekend has a way of piling on the stress for a lot of us every year. Regardless of whether the stressor is connected to the size of the turkey, layovers in Omaha, dealing with car rental companies or the joy of hours spent in a room with certain family members, the idea of thankfulness can get lost in the chaos.

This year, I suggest you create a symbol, something which represents the idea of appreciation. It will help get you through the weekend and weeks ahead with joy and remind you to be thankful regardless of what you may be dealing with this holiday season.

I recently gave a speech to hundreds of patients who had either received an organ transplant or were waiting for one. As a kidney transplant recipient, I talked about my challenging days on dialysis and showed the audience items I use today to remember the lessons I learned while sick.

Topher Payne: Discovering a gift from my Mama, two decades later

November 24, 2011 0

Jesus and I celebrate our birthdays 12 days apart, which bugged the heck out of me as a child. My sister’s birthday hit in September, unfettered by other distractions. Me, not so much.

I got presents wrapped in Christmas paper. There’d be a card attached that read, “Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday,” which would have been fine if it was a car or something, but a Magic 8 Ball simply cannot be called two gifts. And then, around age 10, my mother got the bright idea to combine my birthday party with my friend Alex, because his birthday was at the beginning of the month, and “everyone gets so busy around the holidays.”

It was hard enough being the opening act for Jesus. Now I’d been demoted to playing on a double-bill. I felt like an aging cabaret star, slowly losing all the choice timeslots. I hadn’t even hit puberty, and I was already turning into a late-career Ann Jillian. “Who’s Ann Jillian?” you ask, proving my point.

Melissa Carter: Aging with pride

November 11, 2011 0

I am a 41-year-old woman who is proud of my age. I give no apology for being born in 1970 and I am looking forward to my future. However, these days it seems that I can’t escape the constant messages that I should be pining for the good ole’ days of youth.

According to most advertising messages I see, my body is withering away by the second. And it will require all the money in my 401k to repair the damage.

While running errands the other day, an ad came on the radio that began, “Women over 40 have weight gain due to a hormonal imbalance.” I was then told that it would be impossible to stay thin at my age unless I bought some type of medication that I am sure the FDA has never heard of.

Outspoken: Chris Colfer, k.d. lang, Conan O’Brien and more

November 11, 2011 0

“A lot of gay kids are very promiscuous and non-exclusive with each other when they have relationships, which is really sad. But I think with Kurt and Blaine, I would hope would set an example of what something should be and could be. You know, two people finding each other and really loving each other and wanting to give the world to each other.”

— “Glee” actor Chris Colfer (Kurt) on his love scene this week with Darren Criss (Blaine), in which the two gay teens lose their virginity to each other. (E! Online, Nov. 7)

“Justin Bieber looks just like a lesbian, so I’m gonna say hot as shit.”

— Lesbian singer k.d. lang, asked on an Australian talk show to answer the random question, “Justin Bieber: hot or not?” (SheWired.com, Nov. 7)

Topher Payne: The story of our settlement and first Thanksgiving

November 11, 2011 0

Four years ago this week, Preppy and I closed on our house. Two days later, someone broke in, trashed the place, and made off with a good portion of our electronics.

At the time, we blamed hooligans, but seeing as we never had trouble with the criminal element in the years that followed, I have decided that the real culprit was probably our 60 year-old schizophrenic neighbor, Crazypants. She was just trying to scare us off, like an old coot on Scooby Doo trying to make everybody think the amusement park is haunted.

We were still a little shaken from the experience the following week, so I decided we needed an event on which to focus that would give us happy home memories as quickly as possible. I announced we would be hosting an Old Fashioned Thanksgiving.

Melissa Carter: A story to get you in the Halloween mood

October 28, 2011 0

In honor of Halloween season, I wanted to share a story I heard on the Roswell Ghost Tour. I love this time of year when our imaginations are allowed to roam free. So for all of you with ghoulish minds wide open, this one is for you.

Susan tripped on something in the hallway.

Ouch! What was that? Susan squinted and looked on the floor to see what she had tripped over. She saw that the culprit had been one of Alison’s dolls that had been left in the hallway near her daughter’s closed bedroom door. In fact, several of Alison’s dolls were on the floor, lined up perfectly next to one another, side-by-side, along the baseboard.

Outspoken: Steve Jobs, Gayle King, the White House

October 28, 2011 0

“It just bothers me that in 2011 this is still an issue — that you cannot marry the people you want to marry in some states; it just drives me nuts.”

— Gayle King, gal pal of Oprah Winfrey, in an interview at the Oct. 23 New York wedding of gay couple Bill White and Bryan Eure (New York Times, Oct. 23)

“When you see a beautiful woman, what do you feel?” Wayne replied, “It’s like when you look at a beautiful horse. You can appreciate it, but you don’t want to sleep with it. You appreciate beauty for what it is.”

—Conversation between Apple co-founder Steve Jobs and friend Ron Wayne, as Wayne came out to Jobs in 1974 when the two worked at Atari. Wayne was the first gay man that Jobs, who died earlier this month, had ever met. The discussion is recounted in the new Jobs biography by Walter Isaacson. (Towleroad.com, Oct. 24)

Topher Payne: Tim Allen’s last grunt