Anal sex, done properly, is not painful. You should try it!
Yes, that first minute can be overwhelming, but think of anal sex like the anti-bullying slogan, "It gets better." And boy does it. We recommend you give it a go. If you've got a partner, try it alone first. Not all men use anal cleansing products — things aren't always THAT perilous — but you're guaranteed clean fun if you do. If you can convince your partner, the best prep is a rim job followed by an ungodly amount of lube (though some brave gay men prefer it dry). Go super-duper slow, push into the pain and learn to enjoy the ride!
Duh, most gay men love anal sex. There might be some that don’t, but surely they’ve all found each other and moved to an excluded island where spicy Mexican food is ALWAYS on the menu. For the rest of us, yes, we love anal sex, but that’s not the only way we express our sexuality. All good gays enjoy the convenience of “swapping blowies” and mutual masturbation when the backdoor is locked.
Not all of us do it with strangers
While many guys out there can attest to the excitement of anonymous sex, not every gay man is on the prowl for meaningless hook-ups. And maybe some that are should reconsider. Separating sex and emotions is an important skill for many, but some of us prefer sex with intense physical pleasure AND passionate emotions.
Not all gay men are opposed to straight porn. Or vaginas
Why would we waste our perfectly good “me-time” on straight porn? Think of it this way: “gay for pay” porn is a gigantic industry. It’s a sick side effect of our fetishization of masculine men. What’s the best way to get that straight-guy realness? Duh, straight porn. Also, not all of us are terrified of vaginas and lots of gay men literally cannot keep their hands off a well-endowed lady chest.
Penises are not inherently dirty
We’re sure you get tired of hearing us gab about how vaginas smell and taste like fish. Truthfully, a lot of us have zero experience with that, so someone is doing bad PR. Similarly, lesbians should know that penises aren’t dirty. Sure, uncut (er, uncircumcised) men require a different maintenance regimen than those who are cut. Any man who’s not fresh out of the shower has a pretty standard, not-at-all-offensive man-scent, but we’re POSITIVE it’s no more of a turn off than your lovely lady-scents.
Five things gay men should know about lesbian sex
We actually like to have it
Between the jokes about renting a U-Haul on the second date and the infamous “lesbian bed death,” you might think that sex is something lesbians do only a few times so that we can get married, then settle down to a cozy chaste life of listening to folk music and playing with our cats. Not true. Girl sex can be just as hot as boy sex, and many of us like to have it either casually when dating or throughout long relationships. In short, as Sally Fields might say, we like it. We really like it.
Most of us aren’t Scissor Sisters
Yes, we know that band you love even took its name from this lesbian sex position (google it if you don’t know about it), but keep in mind — they’re mostly boys, too. Scissoring is one of those things that seems like a sexy idea, and for some of us, it works out fine. But for many of us, it actually ends up feeling clumsy and proves a difficult way to get enough stimulation to be mutually, um, satisfying. Rubbing our bodies together is totally hot, but there are plenty of other positions to do it.
It’s not all about penetration for us either…
When straight men make porn with lesbian scenes, the two women are almost always either interrupted by a man who joins in to provide the “real sex,” or a dildo shows up — anything so the guys can still imagine they have a role in it. We know you’re more enlightened than that, but If you’re used to sex revolving around penises, you still might have difficulty imagining what sex can be like without one. Believe us, there is plenty to do that doesn’t require a dildo or other item for penetration.
… Except that sometimes, it IS all about that
Just because we don’t want penetration from a flesh-and-blood penis attached to a flesh-and-blood man, doesn’t mean we don’t like the sensation. Some of us love to receive penetration, some of us like to give it, and plenty of us like both. We don’t need a phallic object to do it — fingers are amazing because they give complete control — but when that is what we want, we are lucky to be able to buy them in any size, shape or color we might want.
We can be tops and bottoms, too
Stereotypes about lesbian sex range between two extremes: either we take carefully timed turns doing each other while singing Kum Bah Yah, or we live in strictly defined butch/femme roles where someone is always “the man.” The truth is that some of us enjoy very egalitarian sex — call us versatile — while some of us, like some of you, fall more naturally into top and bottom roles, even if we don’t use the terms as often. And just like with you, those don’t necessarily equate to who has the control in bed: we can have power bottoms, too!