It’s rare that I make it to my car in time to catch the end of radio morning shows. When I do, I usually dial up Q100’s “The Bert Show” or V-103’s Frank and Wanda.
This morning, Q100 had already switched to generally repetitive morning music and Frank Ski was giving his “Inspirational Vitamin” on V-103. There’s something generally unholy about hearing Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok” at 10 a.m. and the same might be said about Frank Ski’s daily dose of radio Jesus.
I eventually landed on ROCK 100.5 and “The Regular Guys” with Larry and “Southside” Steve, but ended up with a dose of drive-time homophobia. Larry and Steve have started an advertiser-supported body fat challenge. I’m not sure how long it’s been going on, but after six weeks, the “Regular Guy” with the least amount of body fat wins. The loser pays the winner $2,000… and “will have to kiss a dude (yet to be determined.)”
I was curious and kind of excited. If they hadn’t decided who would kiss the loser, why shouldn’t I throw my name in the hat? I’d never seen either of the “Regular Guys” before, but I’m sure I’ve kissed worse. I’m attracted to quirky, rugged and atypically hot guys, and after looking up the “Regular Guys” online, I can verify that both fit the bill.
I began to imagine the potential of the process when my thoughts totally switched. Oprah calls it an “AH-HA” moment. Of all the entertaining (and juvenile) things you could force someone to do at the loss of a bet, why chose to exploit homophobia? In my own mind, kissing me isn’t a punishment. It’s a reward. My exes might disagree.
Whatever happened to shaving off eye brows or extreme waxing? What about running through the station naked or some other randomly hilarious and equally humiliating stunt? I don’t listen to their show often enough to know how generally tolerant Larry and Steve are. They certainly took time out this morning to razz special guest Bert Weiss of Q100 about how much he “loved gays” on his morning show, with no mention that co-host Melissa Carter is an out lesbian (and Georgia Voice cover girl).
And, FYI: Q100 and ROCK 100.5 share parent company Cumulus Media.
This kind of homophobia, which is likely a well-intentioned oops-homophobia, is a particularly big deal because of how public and nonchalant it seems to be. It’s easy to offend by saying “we hate gays,” but this more subtle “doing gay stuff is nasty” slips by the radar as less jarring but is equally inappropriate.
Making a same-sex kiss a form of humiliation degrades my sexuality. Force the loser to do something unequivocally embarrassing to everyone — not just straight shock jocks. Kissing a “dude” may not be an ideal situation if you’re a “Regular Guy,” but when you’re given a public platform with a broad audience of presumably straight people, instead of taking the opportunity to push the limits on gay themes, take a hardline down the center and keep us out of it.
Besides, delicate body waxing is far more entertaining and the sting lasts much longer than a kiss.