Diamond Lil has been entertaining audiences across the state of Georgia since the ‘50s and has gained a fair share of wisdom over that time. So who better to help some happy couples dealing with pre-wedding dilemmas?

My fiance and I want to have alcohol served at our wedding reception, but my family doesn’t drink. What should we do?

Do like some of the bartenders around town do. Have two different containers, one that contains tea and the other contains liquor. Serve your family out of the tea container and serve your drunken friends out of the liquor container. Mark the tea container with a Band-Aid so you won’t mistakenly serve your family liquor. And if they accidently get the liquor, maybe they will have more fun anyway.

We’re working on the invites but I have several relatives who have been less than supportive of me being gay. I still love them though and want them to be a part of it, and maybe their views will change after seeing us exchange vows? Should I invite them?

Do you want to put a blemish on your wedding by inviting negative relatives? Remember these famous words: “Convince a fool against his will. He’s of the same opinion still.” They will be aghast to see their nephew coming down the aisle in a wedding gown anyway and have a stroke. There’s nothing worse than having an ambulance showing up at a wedding to haul away ignorant relatives. But then that could make the wedding more exciting.

We created a gift registry, but one of our good friends went rogue and gave us a gaudy home decor piece. Sell it, or keep it and just put it out when they come over?

Put it out when they come over—outside the front door. Tell them that you were having the house cleaned and it was left outside. That’s what happens when you hire an incompetent maid. Maybe she was hoping to come back later on and steal it. After all, it did look like something she would like (re-gifting is in).

I’ve been asked to be in the wedding party for a friend of mine, but there’s one problem—I slept with his fiance. It happened before they got together, but I still feel a little uncomfortable about it. Should I accept his offer to be in the wedding party or decline?

Well, you’ve been a two-face before. Why not be a two-face currently. Besides, if someone didn’t attend a wedding because they slept with your proposed spouse to be, then nobody would be at the wedding anyway. Honey, the days of virgin brides is “gone with the wind.” The wedding will start off prim and proper but by the end of the reception, everybody’s gonna be all liquored up and groping and grinding on each other anyway. Wake up to human nature. Go and have a blast (but don’t use firecrackers).

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