I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and every decision we make is ultimately setting us up for our future on this earth. With that being said, we have choices with every decision we make. It’s like a fork in the road every split second of the day. If I do this, then this will happen which could lead to this and then that … so on and so forth. I remember when I first analyzed a decision I made and how the circumstances leading up to that decision would have altered the course of my future. Hell, there’s a chance I wouldn’t even be sitting here writing this today. I could be on the opposite end of the world doing something completely different, or I could be in jail or even dead. I’ll never know. But what I do know is, the path that led me here today, I believe, sat on one split second back in 2007 on a sunny summer day in Spartanburg, South Carolina.
I remember jumping into my car, taking my usual route to my high school for a last-minute summer track practice before I went off to a weekend meet. My windows were down and I was blaring some 2007 summer hit while I contemplated my workout for practice. My high school hurdles coach was my best friend and she knew just how to get me pumped for a meet, so she decided to meet me at the track for a little encouragement. Minutes into my drive, I approached a driveway with a car in it waiting to turn onto the roadway. I glanced. He glanced and smiled. That was the moment, the moment I feel like my whole life changed. Had I driven by two seconds earlier or two seconds later, we wouldn’t have seen one another, forever altering the events I’m about to share with you.
That moment we glanced at each other also begins my coming out story. I always told myself that I was into girls even though I never had sex with one, kissed one on the lips, or even held one’s hand. I guess mentally I wanted to keep my options open. But whenever I’d pleasure myself, my mind was on only one thing: men! Every inch of a man’s body, his dick and ass, legs and chest … you name it! No wonder women weren’t on my radar. I was too busy checking out football players in the locker room as they dropped their towels or my fellow teammates on the track as their meat and two veggies bounced around in their spandex like dice in a person’s hand. I should’ve known that my parents were onto me. They found pictures of naked men under my mattress, stories from nifty.org stuffed beneath my dresser, and don’t get me started on the internet browser history. They were just waiting for me, and my “secret,” so I thought, was about to be revealed in an overly dramatic way.
Remember the guy I told you about who I shared glances with while I passed him on the roadway heading to practice? Well, he was my first love even though I’d like to not think about it. You see, when I drove by and glanced at him, he quickly pulled onto the roadway and followed me to the track where we were formally introduced by my coach (he was one of her former students). From that moment on, he and I began spending a lot of time together. He informed me that he was going through a breakup and the guy he was with was crazy. I fell for it and further fell for him. Before things could get more serious though, this guy abruptly called off our fling after a week or so of talking. He stated he and his ex were working things out. I was heartbroken.
Feeling emotionally drained at the ripe age of 18, I let it all go and continued on with my summer plans of track practices and readying myself for college in the fall. A few nights later while sound asleep, my phone rang. I answered lethargically to the voice of someone who stated they were the partner of the guy who had just broken things off with me. I was confused and shocked. He stated he wanted to know who I was and if it was true that I had been with his boyfriend. I answered yes, and then asked him to meet me the next day for lunch at a local restaurant. He agreed.
The next day, while sitting outside of the O’Charleys in Spartanburg, I noticed this handsome guy get out of his car and walk into the restaurant. I quickly followed, hoping and praying that was the person I was supposed to be meeting … and it was. This wasn’t just a typical meeting of a boyfriend and his partners ex-lover, this was in my eyes, love at first sight. Immediately, I fell in love. We spent hours talking, laughing, joking, smiling, and holding hands. Hours later, we’d almost forgotten the reasons we needed to even meet together. It didn’t matter to me though.
Days of courting this guy turned into weeks, until one day the first guy I initially had a fling with, found out I was sleeping with his ex. To condense the details, my first lover was a bit crazy. The night my parents officially found out about me was something straight from a psycho love affair movie scene. My boyfriend (I considered him that at the time) and I were in my room at my parent’s house. I told my parents he was just a friend, but friends didn’t spend hours sucking each other’s dicks naked under the covers, did they?! It was around 11pm when my new lover jumped up out of the bed to the sound of screeching tires and a big bang. He said to me, “I think that’s him out there ramming into my car.” I’m not sure how he knew but with one glance through the blinds, there was his ex (my lover) ramming his car into my new boyfriend’s SUV. We both flung open my bedroom door and raced down the hallway. I was terrified. What would my parents think? What would I tell them? How could I cover this up as to not out myself?
Outside, hell was unfolding in our driveway. His ex-boyfriend was slinging profanity and calling his ex a cheater along with many other names in the book. I stood back with my mouth wide open in disbelief as he then turned the car towards his ex and myself and pressed the gas. We jumped out of the way at the perfect time. His car then disappeared into the night of our dark neighborhood. I rushed my new boyfriend into the house as he was screaming and crying profusely. My step-dad and mom were waiting inside panicking at the sight they just saw. I told him everything was ok. My mom asked, “Patrick, what is going on?” Seconds later, a knock at the door.
When we opened it, behind the glass screen was standing the crazy ex from hell. His facial expression resembled something out of the movie “The Shining.” I was afraid what was about to come out of his mouth, but was I really going to try to defend what I thought he was about to say?
“Did you know your son is a homosexual?” he asked my parents. My step-dad’s response, “Yeah, we already knew for a while.” My mouth dropped and then I breathed a sigh of relief. I had so many questions for my parents, but right now a crazy, deranged man was potentially going to harm all of us, so I waited to inquire about how they knew even though I knew how they knew; naked pics, nifty stories, internet browser history.
My new boyfriend soon became my ex-boyfriend, and then I went through my share of relationships leading up to where I’m at now. From my coming out up until now, my parents have been nothing but supportive. Their biggest piece of advice is, never hide who you really are out of fear of rejection because if someone can’t love you for who you truly are, they don’t deserve your time or attention anyways.