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Topher Payne: In Mississippi, your husband could just as easily have been your cousin

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Playwright and writer Topher PaynePreppy offered our guest room to a coworker in town from Miami, meaning there’s even more conversations than usual around our house involving phrases like “loss prevention” and “opportunities.”

“Opportunities” in particular is a major buzz word at his company. It’s a euphemism for “total fail,” but they’re savvy enough not to say that. But I’ve been with my husband long enough to translate what he means when he says there’s “opportunities” in our kitchen sink.

I’ve been spending my evenings playing Auntie Mame, which also sounds like a euphemism, but is in this case literally what I’m up to. As proud as I am of my career, I do hate it when I’m dressed like a lady the first time I meet one of his coworkers. But some things just cannot be helped.

Outspoken: T.D. Jakes, Anne Rice and more…

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“While the President does not weigh in on every single ballot measure in every state, the record is clear that the President has long opposed divisive and discriminatory efforts to deny rights and benefits to same sex couples.”

— Kristen Sosanie, spokesperson for President Barack Obama’s Minnesota campaign, on why he opposes a ballot initiative to ban gay marriage in the state. The measure “would single out and discriminate against gay and lesbian couples,” she said. (Huffington Post, April 9)

“Happy Easter, Gay People of the World: you have indeed risen in the last decades from centuries of persecution and oppression. May this be a great holiday for you all wherever you are. You are winning the battle for equal rights. And your victory over discrimination and hate is a victory for all oppressed persons.”

— Author Anne Rice, whose son is gay, posting on her Facebook page (On Top Magazine, April 9)

Melissa Carter: TV made me smarter

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Melissa CarterI am a smarter person because of Made-for-TV movies. I realized this the other night when Katie Jo and I were sitting on our back porch talking. The topic of Helen Keller came up, and I began to tearfully recall the scene from “The Miracle Worker” where Patty Duke’s Anne Sullivan finally gets through to Melissa Gilbert’s Helen at the well.

W. A. T. E. R. Who doesn’t get choked up at that memory? Katie Jo.

When I realized my other half gave no reaction to my description of that pivotal scene, I questioned if she had ever seen “The Miracle Worker.” She had not, and went on to tell me she really wasn’t that familiar with Helen Keller’s life. I was shocked, but remembered that if it weren’t for Duke and Gilbert, I might not be either.

So much of my early education came from those mini dramas, which provided greater opportunities for learning than books or theatrical releases ever could. That’s because Made-for-TV movies came on one of the only three or four channels available then, and the lack of choice forced everyone in the family, and the country, to watch it together.

Outspoken: Rick Perry, Jason Mraz, Tracey Gold and more…

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Texas Gov. Rick Perry

“I like Mitt Romney as much as one really good-looking man can like a really good-looking man and not break Texas law.”

— Texas Gov. Rick Perry, a former GOP presidential hopeful who touted his opposition to gay issues during his campaign, commenting on fellow presidential contender Mitt Romney at March 24 dinner. (Advocate, March 26)

“Animal husbandry — That sounds like what Rick Santorum thinks gay marriage leads to.”

— Former GOP presidential Rick Perry, referring to his college major while making a gay joke about another Republican rival during the same dinner. (Advocate, March 26)

Melissa Carter: My mother is going blind, but her artistic vision remains

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Melissa CarterMillie Pete is going blind. My 82-year-old mother was diagnosed with macular degeneration two months ago, and the condition is quickly taking away her vision because of damage to her retina.

As an artist, this has posed a serious challenge to her lifestyle, since the result of the condition is the inability to see detail or recognize faces. As the daughter of this artist, I have come to realize these past few weeks that is was through her art that I learned my most important life lessons:

• Shadows. My mother taught me never to use black when shading paintings. Instead you use complimentary colors to show depth to an object. As a child I saw shadows as dark places to avoid, but Millie Pete allowed me to see they are never as black as they seem, and that shadows actually help enhance the world around you.

Topher Payne: Peace and perspective, courtesy of a little flower power

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Playwright and writer Topher PayneIt was a week ago, and I was at the Home Depot garden center, attempting to navigate the aisles pushing one of those flatbed carts while balancing the phone under my ear. I’d called Mama to ask for her advice about my flower beds. Not to diminish anything I’ve accomplished up to this point, but she made it pretty plain that this was the proudest moment of her life.

“Oh, Barbara,” Mama cried out to her sister. “Topher’s buying plants!”

Aunt Barbara let out a little whoop of approval and instantly suggested azaleas.

Topher Payne: That thing you do

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Playwright and writer Topher PayneOur friend Leslie decided her life needed a little shaking up, so she’s moving to China for a year, where she will teach English to children. I’m not really clear on the logistics of this, as Leslie doesn’t speak Mandarin, but apparently there’s a successful system already in play.

My travel rule has always been that I never visit countries where I don’t speak the language, out of courtesy to the locals. But watching her plan her voyage to a mysterious foreign land is causing me to question that.

I can easily see her moving on from teaching her students English to showing them how to craft clever hair accessories and make really great Bloody Marys. Then the Emperor of China selects her as the tutor for all his children, and they fall in love and sing “Shall We Dance?” and then we would visit her at the palace.

Melissa Carter: Chill pill anyone?

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Melissa CarterDoes your family accept your sexuality? Do your friends and co-workers? If the answer is no, and there was a pill that would cure them of that prejudice, would you give it to them? I’m sure most would say yes and the possibility of such a pill is not science fiction.

British researchers have been studying the issue of racism and found that a common heart disease drug seems to lower racist attitudes as well as blood pressure.  The study was conducted at Oxford University where volunteers were divided into two groups.  One was given the drug Propranolol while the other took a placebo.  Propranolol is a beta blocker used to treat blood pressure, but can also be used in managing panic and anxiety disorders.

In one test, the groups were asked to sort pictures of black and white faces into categories along with positive and negative words.  In another, they were asked to report how warm they felt towards certain groups, including blacks and Muslims.

Outspoken: Blake Shelton, Rosie O’Donnell and more…

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Blake Shelton

“I have a man crush on Adam ... I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him so bad. I don’t care if it’s mutual or not ... He’s sexy, is the word I’m using.”

— Country singer Blake Shelton, on his “Voice” co-star, Adam Levine (inset). Shelton has drawn ire in the past for changing the lyrics to a Shania Twain song, tweeting, “Any man that tries Touching my behind He’s gonna be a beaten, bleeding’, heaving kind of guy.” Shelton apologized, saying “when it comes to gay/lesbian rights or just feelings… I love everybody.” (MTV.com, March 7)

“I love a gender play; I love not being sure. I love walking down the streets of New York and when people pass me by dressed in an androgynous style… That’s what I’m aiming to do. Bring a style that does look androgynous, but really does fit a woman’s body.”