Dear Child,

We are just days away from your arrival into this world. Hard to believe the moment is almost here, even though you would think I’d be ready for it. Your other mother and I have spent the majority of our near decade long relationship wishing, trying, and preparing for you. But I’m not sure anyone is ever ready for the intense responsibility of being the caretaker of another human being. Whatever kind of mother I become, I wanted to take this opportunity to share a few things I hope you learn in this life.

Making mistakes is a good thing. It means you tried something new. But the key to mistakes is what you do with them. Don’t strive for perfection and allow mistakes to make you feel bad about yourself. Make sure you instead pay attention to when the mistake was made, without worrying about what anyone thinks, and find your solution. When you fall down, get up. Keep trying. Eventually you’ll get it right.

Life is a potluck dinner. When I grew up our church held dinners where you could eat a massive feast, as long as you contributed a covered dish to the table. You should treat your life the same way. Enjoy the fruits of your labor and don’t be ashamed to treat yourself, whether it’s to a nice car or an exotic vacation. But before you do, make sure you have done something to make another’s life enjoyable. Just like my church family taught me, you can’t take from this world until you’ve given to it first.

Write your plans in pencil. There will be goals you’ll want to achieve and you will—sometimes. But many other times you won’t be able to, and you’ll need to be adaptive and take advantage of the unexpected opportunities that come your way. Remember you are not the only one who walks this Earth, and everyone wants to do great things. Life is a team effort, never a solo performance. Accept help and give help along the way, and don’t be frustrated if your initial goals have to change.

Be a gentleman. You are the child of two mothers, so I expect you to understand that women are your equal and deserve to be given the same respect and rewards as men. That means terms such as “bitch,” “whore,” and “slut” should never, ever be in your vocabulary. Also make sure to open the door and give up your seat for others.

You belong. Faith in yourself will be tested. Much like the pressure on coal makes a diamond, negative experiences can be useful tools in revealing what you’re truly made of. But no matter how vulnerable or desperate you ever become, never feel like wasted breath. A team of people worked very hard to get you here, and both your mother and I learned being born means beating the odds. If you’re alive, you are meant to be here.

I’ll do my best to be a good Mom. I pledge to love you for who you are and not for what I envision you to be. Your goals and desires in this life will be your own, and it will be my job to give you the tools to recognize them. Son, I got to hear your first heartbeats and you will hear my last. Between those human bookends I will cherish all the time we get to have with one another.

The next few weeks will be traumatic for you. You’ll be cold, learn how to breathe air, vomit almost as much as you eat, and heal from a circumcision. All that will soon work itself out and your curiosity about this place will take over. And I’ll be there the whole time, ready to hold your hand.

I love you,

Mom

To hear Melissa Carter read her open letter to her child on The Jeff & Melissa Morning Show on B98.5 this morning, click here.

Editor’s note: Melissa Carter will be taking off the next several weeks from writing this column as she spends time with her child. We wish her and her family all the best

38 Responses

  1. Ron Low

    The odds that a child will be healing from a medically necessary circumcision are one in 10,000.

    Foreskin feels REALLY good.

    Reply
    • Choice

      I really hope that you will educate yourself more on allowing your son to remain intact (i.e. not circumcising him). You can find a lot of great information at intactamerica.org and peacefulparenting.com. It is his body and he should be allowed to make the choice. Most people are not aware that babies can and do die from this procedure and many, many more go on to have complications, like the foreskin being cut too short, that cause problems once they hit puberty and begin having erections. The risk is not worth the benefit and no medical association in the world, except for the AAP (bc of money and politics) recommends the procedure. In fact, most condemn it. Also, you may be interested to know that the HIV issue has been debunked and it does not prevent or keep someone from contracting the disease. Condom use and responsible intimacy is the only way ensure you stay disease free. Blessings to you as you welcome your son, but please take this into consideration.http://www.thewholenetwork.org/twn-news/us-navy-finds-that-circumcision-does-not-prevent-hiv-or-stis

      Reply
    • Jamie

      “Welcome to the world, baby. Let me show you how much I love you by having your body surgically altered sans pain medication because I think your pee-pee is too ugly. XOXO – Your mommy, Melissa Carter”

      Reply
    • Jeff

      Circumcision is child sexual assault. Don’t believe me? How would you like to be forcefully tied down (no consent on your part) and have part of your genitals torn, crushed and cut away. Because that is what in involved in circumcision.

      Pain management? Generally it’s sugar, some have some (not enough to be effective) numbing agent either applied to the genitals or injected. But not enough, it can’t be without overdosing him as he has a body that that too small to a full proper dose.

      You are robbing him of his complete sexual please when he becomes a man. You are interfering with his sexuality. Circumcision is worse than rape as rape victims don’t lose part of their genitals but circumcision victims do.

      Reply
    • Caitie

      Exactly! I would like to reply to her with this open letter

      Dear mommy to be,
      Healing from a circumcision is a quick way to end what should be a an amazing and beautiful baby-moon.
      Do you know that a circumcision removes 20,000 nerve endings and 1/3 of the skin off of the infants penis?
      Do you know that the no medical agency in the world recommends routine infant circumcision?
      Do you know that it is a cosmetic procedure with no proven medical and scientific benefits?
      Do you know that the post op bandage is actually a urine and feces filled diaper?
      Do you know that over 100 boys in the U.S. die after a circumcision each year?
      Do you know that in infancy the foreskin is fused to the head of the penis (like your fingernail to your nail bed) and to perform a circumcision the foreskin must be ripped away and then torn open before the cutting of the foreskin even begins?
      Do you know that the baby has his arms and legs and head strapped down to a board tightly so he cannot even attempt to get away from the pain?
      Do you know that nurses and doctors report babies screaming so hard they vomit and choke, stop breathing and go into shock?
      Would you even be considering a circumcision had he been a girl?
      And what does that say about gender equality?
      Do you know there is a huge movement of mothers and fathers who do the research too late and regret their decision for the rest of their lives?
      Do you know there is a huge movement of sons who do the research and regret their parent’s decision for the rest of their lives?

      My hope for you is that when your infant is placed into your arms and you will count his fingers and his toes. You will look into the eyes of this child you have created and say “you are perfect.” No alterations, no “procedures” no knifes, no removals, no scarring necessary. Just perfect the way he is and you let him stay that way. I also hope, for your sake, that you will not make a decision you cannot take back. That you do not do something that you may end up always regretting. Can you imagine the guilt if something went wrong?

      I hope you have a wonderful birth, i hope motherhood is everything you imagined it would be and i hope you will consider leaving your son the way nature intended.

      Reply
    • Vincent

      Please do NOT circumcise your child.

      Circumcision has done me no favors! I love when my wife and I partake in one of the most intimate and beautiful experiences in life, but for me it can be a very dark experience on occasion because part of my body was altered against my will. Without the mechanical lubrication provided by a foreskin, I have to use an artificial lubricant or sex would be too painful for my wife and me. Climax is not the same for me as it is for my wife or for Natural (Intact) males. They describe orgasm as a wave all over the body, while a mutilated male (circumcised) expresses it as a singular explosion (bordering on pain) from the penis. Imagine not wanting your wife to touch you as you lay crying on your back from shame and pain due to sores caused by abrasion and/or at times a complete and total loss of erection and feeling. The foreskin contains 20,000 fine touch nerves (like in your fingers) and provides protection of the glans (head) keeping it soft and sponge like, all in an effort to ensure everything works properly. My parent’s chose this painful and unsatisfactory sex life for me and my wife and I simply cannot fathom why. I would never have chosen to have my foreskin removed. Only 1/16,667 intact males will have a problem with their foreskin, 99% of which can easily be treated without surgery. One hundred and seventeen babies die from circumcision a year in the US, which equates to 9/100,000 babies that die each year from a cosmetic surgery. Men have lost their penis, glans, and suffered from deformity caused by the operation performed when they were infants. It isn’t right that these children pay the price for a decision that their parents made, a decision that should be left up to the owner of the penis. Even those who survive still have problems like mine, though they are seldom discussed. 

      Elephant in the Hospital
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ceht-3xu84I&feature=youtube_gdata_player

      Learn how sex is supposed to work.
      http://Www.sexasnatureintendedit.com

      How to properly care for a natural Penis.
      http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/basic-care-of-intact-child.html

      They didn’t tell you the functions of the foreskin, but they did lie to you and said it had health benefits. Did they also tell you it pays for their house, their cars, and their children’s college? It is illegal to sell an organ taken from a patient but they still do it.

      Foreskin for sale: $155/500µg = $310,000/g = $8,788,345/oz.

      http://www.rockland-inc.com/Product.aspx?id=40484

      My numbers and claims are supported by these studies: 

      Dutch Medical society and their stance on RIC
      https://www.dropbox.com/s/n2so0ojf7h8ljeu/KNMG-viewpoint-Non-therapeutic-circumcision-of-male-minors-27-05-2010-v2%20%281%29.pdf

      Surgeons of British Columbia
      https://www.dropbox.com/s/71xsnx9tjwvych3/Circumcision-Infant-Male-College%20of%20Phys%20and%20Surg%20of%20British%20Columbia.pdf

      Doctors around the world critique AAP’s circumcision opinion. 
      http://www.circumstitions.com/Docs/aap-12-europe.pdf

      This document outlines the deaths caused by circumcision in the US.
      https://www.dropbox.com/s/vl5t3aewfgtz8mg/CircDeaths.pdf

      All the statements made by medical organizations about circumcision, and they are cited.
      http://www.cirp.org/library/statements/

      Functions of the Foreskin.
      https://www.dropbox.com/s/xoq9y67hhunkyrx/foreskinfunctions.jpg

      Breast cancer kills more men than anything related to the foreskin.
      https://www.dropbox.com/s/tnmmxqdl1batucf/penilecancer.jpg

      American Cancer society says Circumcision does nothing to affect cancer rates.
      https://www.dropbox.com/s/zz23nzayyrmih0t/ACScirc.jpg

      Meta-analysis of circumcision research 
      http://www.hindawi.com/isrn/urology/2013/109846/

      Circumcised men have a 450% greater chance of ED
      http://www.thewholenetwork.org/14/post/2011/08/does-circumcision-cause-erectile-dysfunction.html

      All the common myths about circumcision and how they are dispelled.
      http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201109/myths-about-circumcision-you-likely-believe

      Boy wants to be a girl after botched circumcision. There are many cases like this however they usually occur in infants who cannot express themselves in words.
      http://www.courthousenews.com/2012/11/09/52144.htm

      Cost benefit analysis of circumcision. 
      http://mdm.sagepub.com/content/24/6/584.abstract

      US Navy Study that shows circumcision has no effect on HIV or STI infection rates.
      http://www.dtic.mil/cgi-bin/GetTRDoc?AD=ADA458066

      Circumcision is PAINFUL!
      http://www.circumstitions.com/Pain.html

      Men upset about being circumcised against their will.
      http://www.mendocomplain.com

      Visual comparison of a Natural Penis versus a circumcised one. (Warning pictures of Genitals)
      https://www.dropbox.com/s/pvj1d0fde5vlt2i/Intact%20%26%20Circumcised%20Adult.jpg

      Note the faces BOTH victims make. One is male, the other female.
      https://www.dropbox.com/s/gcwd6dof26x9gyc/1380094_598713180178190_1272291232_n.jpg

      Three Videos of Circumcisions they are very graphic.
      http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xjkd30_infant-circumcision-injection-and-procedure_news#.UYWGx7Vn7pI

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXVFFI76ff0&feature=player_embedded

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=MDuDhkiDdns

      Reply
    • Mary

      It’s not always easy being born……. But it is a part of life. On the other hand…. Having to heal from a medically unnecessary circumcision wound is not! Foreskin is a normal and functional part of normal male anatomy. Don’t listen to the myths! Please protect your precious son from having to endure unnecessary foreskin amputation and the wound and scar that will be the result.

      Reply
  2. Jenn T

    I got to hear your first heartbeats and you will hear my last – that is beautiful, scary and powerful all at once, that’s what parenthood is. Really touching.

    Reply
  3. KG

    I just love you Melissa. You are so awesome and I am so happy for you. Being a mom is the most amazing gift you will ever be given. Being a mom of a boy is just the best. Your heart will grow a thousand times bigger every time he looks at you. Soak it all in and enjoy every bit of it. There will be times where you will want to run away, lock yourself in your closet, but you will hang in there because there will be moments where you will feel more blessed and happy than you ever have. Congratulations on this newest chapter in your life!

    Reply
  4. Elizabeth Head

    Congratulations to you Miss Melissa and Miss Katie Jo! I only know of you, Melissa, through listening to your wonderful stories on the Bert Show. However, it’s so clear you will be AWESOME mommies! I am a mom of three and my advice to you (besides sleep… serious — get some.) is to do your best and throw away mommy-guilt. It’s not worth it – in response to the people using your fabulous letter to rant about circumcision or not… well I don’t have anything nice to say about that, so I’ll say this – you are a smart woman, I’m very sure you’ve done your research. Do not feel guilty about your choices because they are your choices and you’re doing your best (so no need for mommy guilt!). Congratulations, ladies – you will be tired – the very best and fabulous kind of tired. ever.

    Much love and congratulations
    Liz
    ~Mom to Ciarra (15), Brandon (14) and Caeden (16-months).

    Reply
    • Hugh Young

      ” Do not feel guilty about your choices because they are your choices”
      But this one may very well not be HIS choice. He is the only person with any right to make this very personal choice, when he is old enough, and he will almost always choose to keep it all. It need not be chosen at all, and in most of the developed world it is neither offered nor asked for. Its survival in the USA after the rest of the English-speaking world has given it up without ill-effects is an anomaly.

      Reply
    • Nigel

      If hypocrisy and ignorance of male anatomy were a commodities, you and the radio lesbian would be stupid rich.

      Reply
  5. Sam

    There is no doubt Mr. Carter will be one of the luckiest kids in the world having not only the greatest mom in you but two with Katie Jo. Congratulations! I know he will be raised with morals, values, dignity and self respect and do great things in his life and this world. I am overjoyed with happiness for you both.

    PS. When he is away at summer camp and/or basic training/ on deployment (if he chooses to serve his country in the armed forces), write him a letter every day. He will be home sick. While he is reading your letter from home, he will hear your voice as if you were physically there talking to him. He will literally feel you holding him in comfort and that memory will stay with him throughout his whole life. I speak from experience for when I miss home.

    Reply
    • Dolores

      This youngster would do better if he could be born to parents who respected his sexual freedom and bodily autonomy. Forced genital cutting is not parenting. The foreskin is valuable, functioning erotic tissue and comprises 45% of the penile skin system in the adult. It is astounding to me that any mother would look at her helpless and precious sweet newborn son and think of him as little more than a surgical temptation. And P.S….if he is vomitting that much, you are definitely doing something else wrong, although cutting up the genitals can upset the digestion, making nursing difficult. He trusts you to protect him. Today’s parents research the matter and say NO to circumcision. No one should have to spend their first days of life trying to heal from an unnecessary wound to their most private parts.

      Reply
  6. Amy

    I really hope you don’t cut up a perfect baby. Every person deserves the right to have their body the way it was designed… I hope you leave him intact and research how easy it is to care for an intact child. DO NOT let anyone retract his foreskin. Nothing can get in there. It’s like a fingernail, it allows urine to go out but nothing to get in. Please protect your child from harm and potential death. How sad to carry and protect something for so long then hand him over to unnecessary cosmetic surgery and pain.

    Reply
  7. Kia

    Healing from circumcision? Why on earth are people doing this to boys in USA. Everything in this post was so nice and then..”btw – carving and scarring genitals”? Like bucket of ice water. Almost made me cry. But also made me feel good about my home country where cutting babies is viewed horrid abuse by both parents and medical community. Here, children are welcomed with love, not with knives.

    Reply
  8. lauren

    Have you done research? Are you circumcised? circumcision is medically unnecessary and is only cosmetic. There’s no medical reason to remove perfectly healthy, functioning tissue. If you’re worried about cancer, every part of the body is cancerous. would you have you’re child’s skin removed to prevent skin cancer? It slalom doesn’t keep it clean. The foreskin is there to KEEP it clean. It also doesnt prevent t infection or stds. Foreskin is there to help prevent that, but an std is an std. Did you know that circumcision was originally a small prick to draw blood only to prevent masturbating in church? Most doctors these days Think circumcision is necessary. It’s not. Many doctors flat even care to research what they’ve learned in their studies.

    Why would you punish someone for being born a boy?

    Reply
  9. Chris

    Circumcision is the worst thing a mother can force on her son. It is equivalent to some forme of fgm and completely destroys sex and happiness.

    Reply
  10. Jonathon Conte

    Melissa,

    Foreskin is a normal body part that serves numerous protective, sexual, and immunological functions throughout life. Every human being has a right to an intact body. In the United States, female minors are protected by Federal law from all forms of forced genital cutting. Male and intersex minors deserve the same protection and respect.

    If you want your son to respect women, start by respecting his right to genital integrity. If you want your son to treat others as equals, treat him the way you would a daughter by keeping his genitals intact.

    Children are not born with extra parts by virtue of being male. Protect your son from genital mutilation.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ceht-3xu84I

    Reply
  11. Tora Spigner RN

    James Ketter
    “I made an educated decision to circumcise my son.”

    Did you? Really? That can be easily verified.

    Okay, pop quiz.

    1-a) What style of circumcision did you choose for your son?

    a) Low and Loose.
    b) Low and Tight.
    c) High and Loose.
    d) High and Tight.
    e) Radically High.
    f) Radically Tight.
    g) Dorsal Slit.
    h) Button Hole.

    1-b) What are the benefits and negatives of each style?

    2-a) What method of circumcision did you request for your child?

    a) Plastibell.
    b) Mogen Clamp.
    c) Gomco Clamp.
    d) Freehand.
    e) Traditional Mohel.
    f) Traditional Tribal.
    g) Electro-cauterization.

    2-b) What are the risks and possible complications associated with each method?

    3) What are the most common possible immediate complications of the circumcision surgery?

    4) What is the most common possible LATE term complications of circumcision? (from circumcision to 12 years.)

    5) What is the greatest risk factor for ADULT men circumcised in infancy?

    6) What is the most common cause of foreskin infection in boys that have NOT been circumcised?

    7) How do you clean and care for a circumcised boy’s penis immediately after circumcision (from circumcision to healing)? List all necessary steps.

    8) How do you clean and care for a circumcised boy’s penis after healing? List all necessary steps.

    9) How do you clean and care for a boy’s penis who has not been circumcised? List all necessary steps.

    10) How does an Adult care for his own penis that has;

    a) been circumcised?
    b) never been circumcised?

    *Bonus Question*

    – What are the 16 functions of the foreskin lost to circumcision?
    ___________________________________

    If you cannot answer the above questions, you did NOT research or make an educated decision to circumcise your child.

    Reply
  12. janicecz

    Why would you cut his perfect body? There’s no way he “needs” to be healing from a circumcision. You are taking something away from the man he will become. Circumcision removes 20,000 nerve-endings – in comparison the female clitoris contains “only” 8,000!! Let him decide if he wants to have less than 100% of his penis. This is not your choice!!! 80% of the world’s men are intact – they live healthy, happy lives with 100% of the bodies God/Nature intended for them. Give your son the gift of a whole body. The rest of the civilized world looks upon us Americans, still cutting healthy flesh off our baby boys, with the same horror and disgust with which we view those cultures who mutilate their baby girls.

    “When it comes to holding down perfectly healthy babies and severing flesh from their bodies, how much can you cut away before it becomes morally wrong?”

    Reply
  13. Caitie

    What a beautiful and touching letter. Parenthood is such an amazing gift. I loved and wanted to share your letter and then i reached the last paragraph.
    “The next few weeks will be traumatic for you. You’ll be cold, learn how to breathe air, vomit almost as much as you eat, and heal from a circumcision.” and i just couldn’t bring myself to share something so mean.

    A circumcision removes 20,000 nerve endings and 1/3 of the skin off of the infants penis. No medical agency in the world recommends routine infant circumcision. It is classified as a purely cosmetic procedure and the United States is one of the only places who routinely initiate their boys earth side with this barbaric procedure. And a circumcision is the only “procedure” where the post op bandage is a urine and feces filled diaper.
    Do you know that over 100 boys in the U.S. die after a circumcision each year?
    Do you know that as women, we are protected by law and our genitals are no longer allowed to be cut and altered without our consent?
    Do you know that your son deserves the same protection?
    Do you know that in infancy the foreskin is fused to the head of the penis (like your fingernail to your nail bed) and to perform a circumcision this must be ripped away and then torn open before the cutting of the foreskin even begins?
    Do you know that the baby has his arms and legs and head strapped down to a board so he cannot even attempt to get away from the pain?
    Do you know that nurses and doctors report babies screaming so hard they vomit and choke, stop breathing and go into shock?
    Would you even be considering a circumcision had he been a girl?
    And what does that say about gender equality?

    My hope for you is that when your infant is placed into your arms and you will count his fingers and his toes. You will look into the eyes of this child you have created and say “you are perfect.” No alterations, no “procedures” no knifes, no removals, no scarring necessary. Just perfect the way he is and you let him stay that way. I also hope that you will not make a decision you cannot take back. That you do not do something that you may end up always regretting.
    Really where is the harm in letting him be?

    Reply
  14. Kimberly

    Please, please do your research. Circumcision is not medically necessary. You’re making a permanent cosmetic decision that you don’t have to live with, but your son will. It should always be a person’s own choice to make those decisions for their own bodies.

    This breaks my heart. Please do your research.

    Reply
  15. Nokomis

    Really? You just listed off all the ways in which coming into the world is traumatic, and all the things your baby will be recovering from. You seem rather aware, so I cannot fathom how you do not see that there is one trauma on your list of things he will “recover from” that is ONLY there because of YOUR “parental choice.” You don’t HAVE to circumcise him–that’s cultural brainwashing. The procedure is purely cosmetic, all medical benefits have been debunked many times over by real science, not the junk propagated by our medical industry. It is additionally barbaric, and very painful for the baby. You’re carrying on about how he needs to respect women, but it seems very unlikely to me that he will, considering it will be a woman that allows him to be disrespected–and it doesn’t get more disrespectful than allowing someone to rape your child with a knife in his first days of life. Don’t you think you should leave decisions about the permanent, cosmetic alteration of your son’s genitals to the only person whom is directly affected and has to live with said genitals? That is to say: YOUR SON?

    Obviously you’re a lesbian. That’s cool. But I can’t help but wonder if your sexual orientation is affecting your judgment. Allowing someone to take your perfect, tiny, trusting, brand-new baby boy to strap him down and mutilate him suggests some pretty serious man-hating, whether it’s conscious or not. If this is the case, I feel tremendous pity for your son, because he will feel it. And even if it’s not, if you let him come to such harm, he will never trust you to protect him. He will never be secure in your love for him, because the very first thing you did was betray him. You would never mutilate your baby girl, would you? But you’ll let it happen to your baby boy. I hope he never has a sister to compare, because that + lesbian mommies might not add up the way you want it to.

    And in case you didn’t know, male genital mutilation is every bit as illegal in this country as female genital mutilation. I can provide you with a legal document proving this. He will have every right to sue you and the doctor that hurt him, and if you go through with this, I sincerely hope that in the future, he takes you for everything you are worth.

    Reply
  16. Claire Bradford

    You’re modifying your sons genitals for your own preference?
    What, WHY!?

    Your sons body is NOT your body to alter. You do NOT own him or his genitals. Ownership of people = slavery.
    Bodily and Genital Autonomy – research it.
    No medical association in the World advocates the genital modification of infants, not one!
    It is a gross and unnatural act to force upon a newborn baby.

    117 baby boys die from circumcision, annually. That is one boy every 3 days.
    96% of Routine Infant Circumcisions are performed with little to no anaesthesia.
    Only 1 in 16,667 males will ever require a medically indicated circumcision.
    80% + of the worlds men are intact (not circumcised).

    The rest of the world look on in horror as these newborn babies born in the US are treated lesser than a man on Death Row.
    It’s sickening.

    Do your research, REAL RESEARCH and chose wisely. WATCH A CIRCUMCISION! There’s lots of videos on youtube. If you can watch one of those and still insist on cutting your newborn, then you have bigger issues.
    Oh, your son will be able to sue you once he reaches 18.

    Reply
  17. Brother K

    Melissa Carter, morning host on B98.5, is having a baby via a surrogate.

    SOBBING RADIO MOTHER: “YOU’LL HEAL FROM A CIRCUMCISION”

    Melissa Carter: An open letter to welcome my child into the world

    Be a gentleman. You are the child of two mothers, so I expect you to understand that women are your equal and deserve to be given the same respect and rewards as men. That means terms such as “bitch,” “whore,” and “slut” should never, ever be in your vocabulary. Also make sure to open the door and give up your seat for others.

    You belong. Faith in yourself will be tested. Much like the pressure on coal makes a diamond, negative experiences can be useful tools in revealing what you’re truly made of. But no matter how vulnerable or desperate you ever become, never feel like wasted breath. A team of people worked very hard to get you here, and both your mother and I learned being born means beating the odds. If you’re alive, you are meant to be here.

    I’ll do my best to be a good Mom. I pledge to love you for who you are and not for what I envision you to be. Your goals and desires in this life will be your own, and it will be my job to give you the tools to recognize them. Son, I got to hear your first heartbeats and you will hear my last. Between those human bookends I will cherish all the time we get to have with one another.

    The next few weeks will be traumatic for you. You’ll be cold, learn how to breathe air, vomit almost as much as you eat, and heal from a circumcision. All that will soon work itself out and your curiosity about this place will take over. And I’ll be there the whole time, ready to hold your hand.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LVdkZ04ZRE

    Reply
  18. Allyssa

    I seriously recommend that you research circumcision more. It’s traumatic and painful for a brand new baby. He is more likely to DIE from his circumcision than he is to ever need one in the future. Fewer and fewer boys are being circumcised every year now and when your son is in school, he will be surrounded by boys who are intact. Wiping an intact boy is simple and no extra cleaning is required beyond cleaning the outside like a finger. His foreskin is not going to deprive him of a sex life, nor is it going to cause infections. More than 85% of the world is not circumcised. Let your son keep his whole body instead of having a functional piece cut off.

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  19. Gary Harryman

    It is physically impossible to “heal” from an amputation. Only the scar will heal; the mutilation is permanent – sub normalizes the victim for life.

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  20. Gary Harryman

    “Heal from circumcision”? Human Genital Anatomy #101: Neurologically, the four most specialized pressure-sensitive cells in the human body are Meissner’s corpuscles for localized light touch and fast touch, Merkel’s disc cells for light pressure and tactile form and texture, Ruffini’s corpuscles for slow sustained pressure, deep skin tension, stretch, flutter and slip, and Pacinian corpuscles for deep touch and detection of rapid external vibrations. They are found only in the tongue, lips, palms, fingertips, nipples, and the clitoris, and in the crests of the Ridged Band at the tip of the male foreskin. These four specialized cell types process tens of thousands of information impulses per second and can sense texture, stretch, vibration, and movement at the micrometre level. These are the cells that allow blind people to “see” Braille with their fingertips. Cut them off and, male or female, it’s like trying to read Braille with your elbow as a veritable symphony of sensation is downgraded dramatically and the victim is sub-normalized for life. A woman can live without the sensitivity of the visible part of her clitoris, and a man can live without the mobile and most sensitive part of his penis, the Ridged Band, but both are better off with their natural fine-touch parts intact – and so are their sexual partners. Google The Ridged Band and The Lost List.

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  21. Martin

    Others have made the point, so I’ll just add this. As a gay man, I view routine circumcision as antithetical to what lesbians and gay men have fought for for decades – primarily, the right to determine the boundaries of our own bodies and how we use them. Circumcision destroys options as it destroys natural, healthy erogenous tissue that has developmental advantages in childhood and sexual advantages after puberty. To impose such a loss on a child is tantamount to forcing him to be straight or gay. It’s unethical. It’s permanent. It detracts. It’s wrong. The foreskin is functional, healthy, valuable and fun. It is part of a brilliant design and arguably the best part, at least in my experience.

    Parenting is about securing your child’s options for an open future. Circumcision closes off options; it’s a dead end. Please respect your child’s self-determination in the area of his or her own sex organs. Most men in the world are genitally intact, and the trend for the past 2 generations is strongly back to that. Hospital newborn circumcision was a fad limited to English-speaking countries and never improved public health. Most — all but a slim majority of parents in the US and a shrinking minority of parents in Canada — have abandoned the practice and seen only good results. Please keep your son in the vanguard and best wishes to you all.

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  22. SVI

    Don’t just research circumcision. Research foreskin. It is there for a reason.

    drmomma.org
    icgi.org/medicalization

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  23. Elizabeth

    So sad you feel the need to violate your newborn baby right after he enters the world. Nothing like saying he’s perfect after entering the world like violating his human rights with a barbaric and aesthetic surgery.

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  24. Steve Gough

    You say that women are his equal and deserve to be given the same respect and rewards as men. In what way is forcibly, painfully and permanently removing the most sexually sensitive part of his perfectly healthy penis a reward or a sign of respect?

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  25. Angel

    Genital cutting “traditions” disguised as a “medical procedure”. Revolting! Makes me sick. Stop cutting us guys!

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  26. Joseph4GI

    Gay people, of all people, should understand the issue of circumcision, and how it is a violation of “choice” of a child, something LGBT has been fighting for. Is she going to send him to get “straight” therapy too? How sad and sick that this woman is exercising her freedom to be who she is, her freedom to express it, AND she is using these freedoms to brag about how she is going to destroy her son’s freedom and most basic human right for life. Her son will have to learn to breathe and eat food; he does NOT have to put up with a permanent body violation for life.

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