White Male Problem

I posed a question on Facebook earlier this month, asking if we had a white male problem in this country. I had been asked that by a friend and was curious about what kind of response I’d get. Needless to say, it varied and grew more intense as time went on:

They sure don’t have a problem. They get arrested without getting shot and get to set the narrative for their own crime.

I cannot agree with that. I know a lot of white men who are not racist or sexist or degrading or hateful. I also know white men that ARE that way. It’s not a white man problem. We have a societal problem. With EVERYONE. None of us are innocent. None of us are special. To paint one group of people with the same brush whether white, brown, black or purple is wrong. That’s what we’re trying to stop!


I think we have a white male privilege problem, at least. Too many of them feel like they’re being oppressed, simply because others want the same rights or because they’re being called on their racist, misogynist, homophobic, or transphobic words and actions. Some of those overly entitled man-babies are reacting violently, and that is definitely a problem.

Just add guns.

Every single one of you who agreed with this post is a racist. You’re all a bunch of stupid, racist, assholes. You don’t understand the meaning of the word racism. Melissa Carter, I’m deleting you for this post. I don’t want to be friends with racists.

I wasn’t attempting to argue for the sake of arguing. I indeed wanted to broach the topic, as I am raising a white man myself. To vilify this group of people I think is setting a dangerous precedent, since it seems the only group one is able to insult outright without backlash is a white man. But what purpose does that serve?

On the other hand, if an epidemic of mass shootings and hate crimes were carried out by any other group, we’d state that we had a “terrorist” problem or an “angry woman” problem. Turns out, many white men succumb to the temptation to take out a large group of people in anger and violence. So, why can’t we recognize the problem stemming from this group in order to solve the problem?

I was conducting an interview for my podcast and it was suggested to me by the teenage son of the guest to read “Boys Will Be Men” by Paul Kivel. I must admit it was a breath of fresh air, as the author addresses such topics as racism, homophobia, pornography, and the “act like a man” mentality.

The ultimate goal is for us all to come together and enjoy each other’s company. Yet I fear many don’t understand that point and continue to label and separate themselves into factions of people just like them and stay there forever. Nature itself is built on the idea that growth and strength come from bringing things together, and as soon as we can get out of this sporting event, good team bad team mentality, the sooner we can really heal and create a better world for the girls and boys watching what we do.