I’m by no means prolific in the romantic department; the quality of my relationships has always trumped the quantity. I’ve been legally married now for six years (in Connecticut and reciprocal states, anyway.) In my fifties, I can still count my romantic liaisons on one hand, with a few digits to spare. Thanks mostly to my wonderful spouse, our relationship is often the source of public admiration, seen as some effortless, meant-to-be union.
But truth be told, my road to romantic bliss is paved with a weird string of first dates that would easily pass for David Lynch vignettes.
While most of the world had a Y2K disaster contingency, I did not. And so, by the stroke of the new millennium, I found myself “suddenly single” and admittedly lonely after a 12-year relationship ended.
V
alentine’s Day is a time to celebrate love — or at least the idea of how love could be. We see plenty of examples of young romance on television and in movies. But I wish there were more portrayals of couples still hot for each other after years together. Those are the couples who have figured out what true love really is and remind us that sometimes the secret is more simple than you would think.
My parents were married for 50 years until my father passed away from cancer in 2001. Their unique and touching romantic gestures towards each other began when they were newlyweds and had no money. On their first anniversary she arrived home from her teaching job and checked the mailbox first like she did every day.
Inside was a letter informing her that her gift was upstairs waiting for her. When she got to her bedroom, there was my dad waiting for her wearing a bow. My mom is in her ‘80s and this story still makes her smile and blush when she tells it.
Great sex goes way beyond who puts what where, so we asked two local experts who get to spend their careers thinking about sex to offer their top 10 lessons for LGBT intimacy.
Steven Igarashi is gay outreach program coordinator for AID Atlanta, where he leads programs that offer a broad discussion of men’s sexuality. For more information, check out GO Atlanta at www.aidatlanta.org
Dr. Glenda Corwin is a licensed clinical psychologist and the author of “Sexual Intimacy for Women: A Guide for Same-Sex Couples.” Learn more at www.drglendacorwin.com
Shopping local makes Valentine's Day even sweeter.
Charis Books & More
Write your own love story with “Love Listography.” Get in the mood with “Best Lesbian Romance,” “Missionary No More” and “Black Fire” erotica books.
Tell her you love her with “Hearts for Madelene” note cards, which began as weekly gifts from lesbian Page Hodel to her partner, Madalene Rodriguez. Rodriguez succumed to ovarian cancer in 2006, but Hodel continued to make the hearts in honor of her partner, and a portion of the proceeds to go the Women’s Cancer Resource Center in Oakland, Ca. $9.55-$16.95.
Are your first dates not turning into anything more? Perhaps it’s because you resemble one of these misguided dating types. Let lesbian romance writer Fiona Zedde and gay sex and dating columnist Michael Alvear help you get it right.
THE U-HAULER
Don’t:
First date? Doesn’t matter. If you are the U-Hauler, you want to plan the rest of your life right then. Are you ready to get married? Do you want kids? The U-Hauler thinks picking out baby names is the perfect first date conversation. But you may not notice that while you are rearranging your house to fit your date’s furniture, he or she is backing away from the table or texting a friend a desperate SOS.