When it comes to building a family, support is key. It takes a village, but for LGBTQ families wanting to have biological children, that village often needs to be much bigger. In vitro fertilization costs up to tens of thousands of dollars and requires a long, arduous process with a slew of medical and legal steps. If you’re a man — especially a man having a baby with another man — you may find that it may be difficult to find space for yourself in the world of surrogacy and IVF.
Men Having Babies is an organization looking to create that space and provide the support gay parents need. The nonprofit provides guidance, advocacy, and financial assistance to current and prospective gay surrogacy parents, and they’re bringing their Surrogacy Conference and Expo to Atlanta, in collaboration with the LGBTQ Institute, from February 23 through 25.
Attendees of the conference will be able to interact with over 20 reputable gay-friendly agencies, clinics, law firms, and other surrogacy providers, and they will have opportunities to learn about the basics of surrogacy, costs, how to access benefits from employers, and more.
“A big part of it is the expo where you get to meet people face-to-face who could enable you to go on your journey,” Sherman Taylor, the Board Chairman for MHB, told Georgia Voice. “We have workshops to break down the various aspects of it: the medical aspects, the psychological aspects, the insurance, financing, budgeting. You get to hear perspectives from parents and even from children born through the process. And then we also bring in research and advocacy; we have an advocacy and research forum that allows people to learn about what’s going on in the broader world and what the key areas are that can impact our ability to achieve the mission and support people in the journey.”
The organization is trans-inclusive and seeks to represent all the various facets of parenthood.
“We have a trans man on our staff who was a surrogate before transitioning,” Taylor said. “We have a former IVF doctor, we have multiple parents who are gay like myself, we have a single father, we have a father from Canada, and we have a psychologist who had children through surrogacy. We’re trying to represent multiple facets of the process on the board.”
Not only will parents get the chance to learn more about surrogacy and connect with useful resources, they will also be able to meet with other gay parents in similar positions — something Taylor himself wishes he had access to when he and his husband started having their kids.
“My husband and I got engaged in December 2010. We started within days of our engagement looking online [about surrogacy], and I went through a whole range of emotions of learning how expensive it was, and I was like, ‘This dream is just so far away. It’ll never happen.’ We found a way to make it happen … but I didn’t know other gay fathers,” he said. “I didn’t know other people that were going through the process. It’s really wonderful to come together and meet prospective fathers who are committed. I’m hopeful that they look at me and say, ‘This person did it, so can I.’”
Proceeds from conference registrations will benefit MHB’s Gay Parenting Assistance Program, which offers financial assistance to parents in two stages. Stage one offers smaller cost reductions, a benefit that “dozens of parents per year” claim, according to Taylor. Stage two offers a more significant reduction for parents who would not be able to afford their child otherwise.
“At this point, we’ve helped almost 100 children be born who would not have been [without the financial assistance],” Taylor said.
The conference opens at the National Center for Civil and Human Rights, where attendees will be able to explore the exhibits — including the new “Queer Justice” exhibit chronicling Lambda Legal’s 50-year history — and will continue at the Omni Atlanta at CNN Center. Registration is $40 per person, includes meals and receptions, and is open to nongay parents as well.
Find the weekend’s agenda and register at menhavingbabies.org/surrogacy-seminars/atlanta.